i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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