I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
