so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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