Already got asked if we're dating
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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