I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
