SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
