Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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