I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
