white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
