Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
