so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
