did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize