Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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