hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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