arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
