i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
