Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize