Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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