What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
