You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
