forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
