my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
