he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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