Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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