what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
