I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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