if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
is it fun? or sober?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
