so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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