Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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