I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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