Did you just see the Batmobile???
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
