Banned from zoo.
Again?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
we're so committed to being not committed
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
