We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize