Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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