Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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