you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
