I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
