I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
