i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
