im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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