My Higher Power is John Stamos
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
