My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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