she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
