i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize