HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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