i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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