I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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