The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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