if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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