Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
