Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
