What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
