its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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