Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
