Your mouth is God's brothel.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize