just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
