Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you had me at cake vodka
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
