she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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