It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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