He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
