***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
