Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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