I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
